Caring, Chemistry, and Orgasms: Components of Great Sexual Experiences

Sexual satisfaction is important to individual well-being and relationship satisfaction, making it a research topic relevant for sex clinicians and relationship therapists. The current study adds to sexuality literature by asking participants questions about the factors involved in “great sex.” We conducted 78 interviews via email or phone with participants ranging in age from 18 to 69. The sample included a diverse range of sexual orientations and identities, and various relationship statuses. Three primary themes emerged regarding great sex: orgasm, an emotional component, and chemistry/connection. Though some participants equated an emotional aspect as love; most participants made clear the difference between love and emotional elements in sex. Many participants shared their belief that a man only invests in his female partner’s orgasm when he also invests in her emotionally. Thus, some women explained that the emotional component helped them be present enough to orgasm. Others explained the emotional component as trust and affection. Participants also elaborated to define chemistry, which they regarded as out of one’s control and impossible to manufacture. A smaller number of participants stated unequivocally the lack of necessity of an emotional aspect to great sex; they stated instead that physical connection trumped an emotional component.