Feeling Appreciated Predicts Prosocial Motivation in Avoidantly Attached Individuals

Prosocial motivation is an important ingredient for satisfying relationships. However, individuals high in attachment avoidance—those who fear closeness and prefer independence—often display reduced prosocial motivation for their romantic partner. In two daily experience studies (N(total) = 324), we examined whether feeling appreciated by a romantic partner would buffer this negative link. When avoidantly attached individuals felt highly appreciated by their partner, they displayed greater prosocial motivation; specifically, they were more willing to sacrifice, and did so with the intention to benefit their partner (Studies 1 and 2). These effects did not emerge for other, less prosocial motives for sacrifice, such as to benefit oneself or avoid negative outcomes. Furthermore, one reason why avoidantly attached individuals were more prosocial when they felt appreciated is because they felt more committed to the relationship (Study 2). These findings reveal the importance of feeling appreciated, especially among individuals who typically neglect a partner’s needs.