Flirting with resistance: children’s expressions of autonomy during middle childhood

Purpose: Developmental research suggests that children’s early non-compliance can be understood as “resistance”, an agentic response to parental control where children express their autonomy within a close relationship context. Research with toddlers and adolescents suggests that children’s resistance strategies can be differentiated using the dimensions of assertiveness, social skill, and overt versus covert expression. This study explores children’s strategies for expressing resistance during the neglected period of middle childhood. Method: Forty children, 9–13 years of age, participated for 1 week in a study focused on children’s experiences of socialization and parent–child relationships. Procedures included a 5-day event diary, and a 1-hour semi-structured interview about the rules and expectations in their home and their strategies of resistance. Results: Thematic analysis identified a rich repertoire of strategies for resisting unwelcome parental demands. These included overt resistance, such as negotiation, argument, and expressions of non-acceptance and covert resistance such as covert transgressions and cognitive non-acceptance of parental demands when compelled to comply. Conclusion: The findings were interpreted as reflecting children’s development of assertiveness and social skill as they expressed their autonomy in the interpersonal context of the interdependent but asymmetrical relationship with their parents.