Managing absence and presence of child–parent resemblance: a challenge for heterosexual couples following sperm donation

This qualitative interview study sought to gather and better understand heterosexual parents' experiences of managing resemblance and non-resemblance between child and parent in an identity-release donor programme. The study is part of the prospective longitudinal Swedish Study on Gamete Donation (SSGD), including all fertility clinics performing gamete donation in Sweden. A sample of participants in the SSGD, consisting of 30 heterosexual parents with children aged 7–8 years following identity-release sperm donation, participated in individual semi-structured interviews. This study concerns a secondary analysis of the interview data. The results show how donor-conceiving parents experience the presence and absence of child–parent resemblance, and how they navigate between the importance of genetic connectedness and of ‘doing parenthood’ through social interactions. The analysis resulted in three categories: ‘resemblance through nature or nurture’, ‘non-resemblance brings the donor to the front’ and ‘feelings about and coping with resemblance talk’. The first two categories deal with the intrapersonal aspects of physical and non-physical resemblance, while the last category includes aspects of resemblance in relation to persons outside the core family. The presence or absence of parent–child resemblance regarding both physical and non-physical characteristics appears to constitute a considerable challenge for heterosexual couples with school-aged children following sperm donation.