I Just Pulled Myself Together and Realised I had to be Responsible: Adolescents’ Experiences of Having a Friend Who Self-Harms

BACKGROUND: Self-harm usually begins during adolescence and adolescents that self-harm most commonly confide in friends, yet to date, there is little research from the friend’s perspective. OBJECTIVE: This qualitative study explores adolescents’ experiences of what it is like to have a friend who self-harms by cutting and what this experience means for friendship, the wider peer group and psychological well-being. METHODS: Semi-structured interviews were conducted face-to-face with a community sample of eight females aged between 13 and 18 years, living in England. Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis was used to analyse the data. RESULTS: Four superordinate themes emerged: desperately searching for meaning, I will be there at all costs, too hot to handle and identification. Adolescents were concerned about escalations in their friends’ behaviours and felt a sense of duty to help, but the majority experienced a dilemma as to whether to disclose to others and all reported some form of distress. CONCLUSIONS: The results highlight the important, yet complex nature of friendship in this context. Friends play a key role in supporting adolescents who self-harm but need greater support managing this role and the effects. Schools/colleges should educate young people about self-harm to increase their knowledge and skills in relation to supporting a friend with this issue. Furthermore, they should promote environments for talking about mental health openly to give young people increased opportunities for help-seeking.