Pre-Cohabitation Conversations for Relationships: Recommended Questions for Discussion

Moving in together is an important transition in a relationship. For many, it is often a shift to the next phase of the relationship indicating higher levels of commitment. Whether the partners are married, plans to get married, or marriage is not part of their future, there are important conversations to be had prior to this transition. As such, this article presents recommended pre-cohabitation conversations with question prompts for partners to explore prior to moving in together. To best understand the dynamics of cohabiting that informed the questions, a review of the literature on cohabitation is presented. Additionally, race and culture, religion, and sexual and gender identity will be highlighted as essential conversation considerations especially as the majority of the literature is centered around white, hetero, and monogamous relationships. Created by a group of couple and family therapy graduate trainees based on the literature and their own personal and professional experiences, the pre-cohabitation conversations are organized into three categories– relationship negotiations, household rules, and communication. These conversations are recommended to be used both by therapists with their clients as well as for direct use by partners following the questions presented within. The topics represent a comprehensive range of relationship issues including consideration of unique issues as presented in the literature with the goal of aiding partners in successful management of their transition to a shared living space.