You and I Both: Self-Compassion Reduces Self–Other Differences in Evaluation of Showing Vulnerability

People tend to be overly critical of their own displays of vulnerability, whereas observers evaluate others’ showing of vulnerability rather positively (beautiful mess effect). We propose that self-compassion might buffer against such misperceptions of one’s own vulnerabilities. When confronted with challenging situations, self-compassionate people are kind to themselves, see adversity as inevitable, and face the difficulty of their circumstances without overexaggeration. Thus, we hypothesized reduced self–other differences in the evaluation of showing vulnerability in self-compassionate individuals. The hypothesis was addressed in four studies. The first two studies measured self-compassion either immediately (Study 1a) or substantially (Study 1b) before participants evaluated showing of vulnerability. Studies 2 and 3 tested the generalizability of the hypothesis across different situations as well as the discriminant validity of self-compassion’s role in the reduction of the beautiful mess effect. Implications for research and practice are discussed.