Beyond Mum and Dad: Gendered Assumptions about Parenting and the Experiences of Trans and/or Non-Binary Parents in the UK

Within UK society, there are gendered assumptions about mums and dads and what they do. Existing research has explored the experiences of parents who diverge from such assumptions, but limited research has focused on trans and/or non-binary (TNB) parents specifically. Research on non-parent TNB populations suggests that individuals with different gender identities may have different experiences. This study therefore aimed to understand the way in which gendered assumptions about parenting shape the experiences of TNB parents, paying particular attention to the distinct experiences of parents with different gender identities (i.e. trans men, trans women and non-binary parents). Reflective thematic analysis was conducted on interview data from 13 TNB parents within the UK. Three themes were identified: ‘Motherhood: essential and exclusionary’; ‘Fathers as uninvolved parents: negotiating fatherhood’ and ‘Mum, Dad and nothing in between: parenting beyond the binary’. Parents with different gender identities were impacted differently by gendered assumptions, and generally, parents negotiated with and transcended restrictive norms. Findings highlight the analytical benefit of distinguishing between parenting identity (e.g. mum/dad/parent) and parenting practice (e.g. mothering/fathering/parenting). The findings expose the limitations of such terms as participants were found to go ‘beyond mum and dad’, in both their identities and practice.