Parenting in times of refuge: A qualitative investigation

This qualitative study sheds light on how the different phases of refuge and resettlement shape parents’ perceptions of their parenting. We used in‐depth interviews to examine parents’ accounts of how war and refuge gave rise to different stressors, and how these in turn shaped parenting. We interviewed 27 Syrian refugee parents recently settled in the Netherlands (16 families) twice, using a grounded theory approach. We distinguished five phases of refuge, namely prewar, war, flight, displacement, and resettlement. During flight and displacement, stressors associated with financial and material losses appeared to induce parental empathy for children's suffering, which seemed to increase parental leniency. Stressors emerging from family separation during displacement, however, were reported to burden parents and to lead to uncertainty, which seemed to compromise parental warmth and sensitive discipline. While narratives suggest that families reacted in similar ways during the phases of war, flight, and displacement, differences seemed to emerge during the resettlement phase. Some parents stated that in resettlement, they experienced post‐traumatic growth (e.g., increased compassion for their children) and were more autonomy supporting than before the war. Other parents seemed to struggle with accepting and supporting their children's emotions and appeared to resort more readily to parental control. Our findings suggest that emotional exhaustion plays a key role in how parents viewed their parenting changed during refuge, and that individual differences in parents’ abilities to recover from emotional exhaustion played a key role in shaping parenting in resettlement.