Who’s Going to Keep Us Safe? Surviving Domestic Violence and Shared Parenting During Covid-19

This paper discusses the experiences during COVID-19 of mothers who have young children, are survivors of domestic violence and who share parenting to highlight the further unsafe situations survivors of violence and their children were placed in during the pandemic. Part of a larger mixed methods study, these participants (n = 19) from three Canadian provinces, Alberta, Manitoba and Ontario, engaged in virtual individual one-on-one interviews via zoom. Using thematic analysis, four themes emerged from the data: 1) increased use of coercive controlling behaviors; 2) fear of the unknown; 3) lack of supports; and, 4) finding balance. Direct quotes are used to highlight the meaning of each theme. We outline the challenges these women have that are in addition to those experienced by many during COVID-19 times (increased stress, isolation, disconnect from supports, financial challenges). These include managing the shared parenting arrangements with a former abusive partner who used the pandemic as a further opportunity for coercive controlling behaviors under the guise of the public health order. The mothers were left to manage the difficult exchanges with a former abusive partner and unknown circumstances of the pandemic without guidance and support from legal actors. There will need to be a prioritization of the safety of mothers and their children in post-divorce parenting arrangements both during times of a community lockdown such as during the pandemic and also during non-pandemic times.