Coping Strategies in Women and Children Living with Domestic Violence: Staying Alive

PURPOSE: Children exposed to domestic violence are at risk of adverse short- and long-term psychosocial effects and of being abused themselves. However, mothers and children face systemic gaps when seeking safety from domestic violence services and police. Safety planning typically focuses on women, overlooking their multiple social identities and excluding their children. We explored safety strategies used by mothers and children coping together with severe domestic violence. METHOD: Interviews with 30 mothers who experienced severe or potentially life-threatening domestic violence and 5 adults who experienced domestic violence in childhood were qualitatively analyzed using thematic analysis, revealing five major themes: ongoing communication, appeasing the abuser, soothing activities, exposure reduction, and fostering independence. RESULTS: Interpreting participants’ experiences in terms of the mother-child dyad, we found that mothers and their children worked together to reassure each other, keep each other safe, and make plans to leave their abuser. CONCLUSIONS: Safety planning for the mother-child dyad could build on children’s existing coping strategies and recognize and support children’s desire to protect their mother and themselves effectively and safely according to their developmental stage.