Tabla de Contenidos: “…How to travel with a salmon -- How to replace a driver's license -- How to eat in flight -- How to go through customs -- How to travel on American trains -- How to take intelligent vacations -- How to use the taxi driver -- How not to talk about soccer -- How to use the coffeepot from hell -- How to react to familiar faces -- How to be a TV host -- How not to know the time -- Stars and stripes -- Conversation in Babylon -- On the impossibility of drawing a map of the empire on a scale of 1 to 1 -- How to eat ice cream -- How it begins, and how it ends -- How to justify a private library -- How to compile an inventory -- How to spend time -- How to buy gadgets -- How to follow instructions -- How to become a Knight of Malta -- How to deal with telegrams -- How not to use the fax machine -- How not to use the cellular phone -- Three owls on a chest of drawers -- Editorial revision -- Sequels -- How to use suspension points -- How to write an introduction -- How to write an introduction in an art catalogue -- How to set the record straight -- How to watch out for widows -- How to organize a public library -- How to speak of animals -- How to play Indians -- How to recognize a porn movie -- How to avoid contagious diseases -- How to choose a remunerative profession -- The miracle of San Baudolino.…”